Yes. I’m still here. And yes. I just finished writing and publishing a new Mr. Darcy Existential Erotica short story called, “Mr. Darcy’s Permission“. But I have to be honest about it. While I like some of this story, I don’t necessarily love it. For me, as the author, it just felt forced. But I finished it…and I published it.
So Many Whys
You might be wondering why I would publish something I just wasn’t in love with. Well, it’s simple. Because I have to let myself go through the entire process. And that includes putting it out there when my intuition says it’s done…even if it flops. You might be wondering “why” again.
In short, it’s less about the success or failure of each story and more about the process of the story. The practice.
The Goal Is Improvement
I want to get better at using my imagination. I want to create something with words that resonate. And I want to feel the satisfaction of that completion of it all by publishing what I create. Refining that process is what is going to create a better product. And I can’t refine the process if I don’t follow through every chance I get.
It’s cliché, but honestly, if I don’t complete the process by publishing my creation…even if it’s not what I consider to be my best…I’d never publish anything. And while I’m pretty sure that this new short isn’t my best work, I honestly couldn’t tell you if I think anything is my best work. So why torture myself with all of this, “only publish what you think will succeed” attitude?
The bonus was that I knew within a day that while I didn’t love it, there were people who took the time to read it. And there is satisfaction in that for me. So thank you!
When It’s Time to Give Up
Not one person on this planet has done something once and been an instant success. Well, maybe there’s one or two. But you know what I mean. Everyone has tried and failed, and tried again. That’s improvement. And that’s what I’m after. I’m not after opinions, because those are subjective. What I’m after is the experience and the lessons that resonate to me along the way.
So I just keep trying and when it’s time to give up, I try for just a minute longer. Because deep down I know that eventually the time I spend trying to improve will take up more of my day. Which naturally means that the time I spend in my “give up” will become less and less.