if only, relationship advice, inner wisdom, find yourself

A Giant Square Peg

lonely, poem, poetry, relationships, toxic relationship, thoughts, meditation,

I heard someone say “It could be so great, if only…” I replied, “If only what? A lion would make a great house pet ‘if only’ they weren’t instinctually driven to hunt.” Same goes for people.

If we’re being honest with ourselves, “If Only” is a way of saying this person isn’t doing what we want them to do. It’s also a way of saying that they aren’t giving us what we want them to give. It’s our excuse to hold on a little longer despite what our intuition, our instincts, and all the red flags are telling us. It’s our way of sacrificing bits of our vision of happiness for what they can “maybe someday” can be. Saying “If Only” is the ultimate indication that we’re diligently trying to cram a giant square peg into a round hole.

The Opportunity in “If Only”

But the opportunity in “If Only” is realizing that wanting and hoping someone will change isn’t going to change them. Because their change isn’t our decision. People must see how they negatively impact the lives of others. And they have to care. They have to have self awareness. And this is seemingly rare.

So if you find yourself saying, “If Only” ask yourself what “if only” they could do that would make you feel better. Then start figuring out how to give it to yourself. That’s how you empower “if only” to become “I am.”

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About the author

The Enlightened Spectacle blog uses the exes, codependent tendencies, and esoteric thoughts of one woman in search of life’s deeper meaning as the inspiration for you to deviate from social norms, gain new perspectives, and embrace the darkness on your own Path of Enlightenment.

Josie de Vere is evolving thinker who happens to be codependent and also a writer. Hoping her journey through the darkness to know enlightenment inspires others along the way.

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