manifestation, reality, law of attraction

Manifestation & The Perfectionistic, Over-Thinking, Control Freak

A month or so ago I said that my old friend gave me attitude and said “Don’t try. Do.” I took exception. So much so, I posted about it. I even went so far as to call it bad advice. But I just realized he was right. And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even realize that this statement actually held the secret to manifestation.

With some new found perspective, I’ve realized that what I took exception to was his tone. But I recently found myself trying too hard to think the way I think I should be thinking, only to have his words echo in my mind. Only this time I removed his tone and realized that “trying” actually slows down manifestation. And I could see how “trying” is just another form of overthinking. But “doing,” on the other hand, embraces all possible outcomes without judgement and moves forward. And this is how we manifest all kinds of things, including those coincidences we simply can’t explain.

Crow à la Carte

eating crow

So before we get to my theory on manifestation I’d like to order my crow overcooked and dried out. That way I’ll think twice before being so judgey next time. Because there will be a next time.

Manifestation & Coincidences

Have you ever wondered how it’s possible for some “coincidences” to be realized so quickly? Like when you have a random and fleeting thought about an old friend and they call a day or so later. But when you want to make something happen you apply focus but nothing happens until you let it go, forget about it, and just give up. It always seems that the more you try to visualize what you truly want, the more you push it away. This is the example of why you shouldn’t try. You just need to do.

So why is this? I’ve come to realize that wanting is the same as trying. The trouble is wanting and trying may have good intentions, they both lack confidence. You see, all those thought leaders were right, the more you “want” the more you prove what you don’t have. And the more you “try” the more you reinforce that you don’t know enough to just do.

Direct Focus

But there’s a key to manifestation and it’s all about focus, but not direct focus. You see, we’re taught that if you want something you need to focus on it. Visualize it. Eat, breath, sleep it. Get rid of all negative thoughts, believe you already have it, and…the kicker…feel good about it while you’re at it. But what I’ve found as a perfectionistic, over-thinking, control freak is that things I focus on creating seem to get delayed or never seem to come about at all. I always get tied up in the minutiae, making sure I did it right, blah, blah. And after all this, you can forget feeling good about it. You could say that I’m kind of an expert on making things not happen.

But why is this? After yet another coincidence the other day, I was determined to figure out what was going on.

Passive Focus is SO Important

manifestation, focus, passive focus

You see, directly focusing on what you want gives your passive focus to the idea that you don’t have it. And from what I can determine, it’s our passive focus which manifests.

My way of manifestation doesn’t include trying to convince yourself that you have what you don’t. Because that’s trying entirely too hard, too. You see, what’s actually happening when you try too hard to focus on your manifestation you are placing your passive focus on the fear of not achieving your direct focus. This makes you try harder and hyperfocus on what you do want. Which only further fuels placing your passive focus on the opposite of what you want – the fear of not achieving. Thus getting more of nothing.

Manifestation & Vibration

Some would say that everything has a vibration and you have to “tune into” the vibration of what you want. And while I understood the idea of this, it too was a little much for me to successfully embrace. So, in my words, every focus has an underlying essence. Trying hard = Worry, Love = Confidence, Arrogance = Fear, Enjoyment = Ease, and so on. Which makes it obvious why being honest with yourself is essential.

But it’s important to notice the subtleties in the essence of terms which are similar, or even generalized into the same meaning. For example, the essence of trying hard isn’t quite the same as the essence of putting in effort. There’s a force to the essence of trying hard. Whereas there’s an embrace of possibilities when you apply effort to something. Give both some thought and see if you can see the difference.

The God Smack

Have you ever made fun of someone, even innocently, only to have the same fate befall you? It’s known as the “god smack.” Quick karma. A cosmic payback of sorts for being arrogant. And if you look at the “god smack” with my theory of passive focus, it’s pretty easy to see that the underlying essence/vibration of arrogance, just like worry, is fear of something happening. So, wham-o, it’s yours.

And what about over confidence? How is it possible that when you’re over confident that it could possibly have an essence which begets failure? After all, we’re shooting for being confident. Well, there is too much of a good thing. Over confidence, while often earned, has an air of arrogance. Perhaps a masking of a deep seated fear delivered by our old friend “Ego.” So along comes the “god smack” once again for a dose of instant humility.

The Manifestation Solution

I know this solution is going to sound simple, and I also know it’s extremely difficult. When we talk manifestation, we want to follow the rules, step by step, so we don’t screw it up and manifest things we don’t want. Just know this, every single thought you have manifests in your reality in some way or another, you just haven’t really paid enough attention to draw the lines back to a random thought you had or thing you read. Don’t worry, most of us haven’t. But if you want to get to consciously creating your reality you need to train your mind to do one thing and one thing only. Be neutral.

By “being neutral” I mean begin to train your mind to think of things that you’d like, but to which you have no attachment. That’s it. Because fleeting thoughts always become a reality. You know them as the coincidences that baffle you. So train yourself to think fleeting thoughts you’d like to experience. They can be big or small. Whatever you’d like. Just keep in mind this does take practice. And by practice, I don’t mean try, I mean do it. Over and over. But be gentle with yourself. The quicker you have the thought and let it go, the quicker it will come into your reality.

And don’t look for proof of it working. Just let it go. It’ll come to you. And you’ll say “what a coincidence.” If you find yourself looking…stop and surrender again.


So if you’re still with me and willing to embrace that we somehow create these “coincidences,” and you want to figure out how to create more of them (especially the really big ones) we need to do one more thing. We need to figure out the type of confidence we need to have in our lives. What we’re looking for is the impartial acceptance of the cliché “it is what it is.” The confidence that, no matter the outcome, you’ll just keep doing.

When you try to figure out the steps to a goal you are actually charging your passive focus with worry and doubt. Visualize the end goal. This is the part where you need to imagine all the details. Eat, breathe, sleep the idea. See it clearly, but without attachment or worry. Just enjoy the experience, and the steps will rise up to meet you. You won’t have to do much, if anything. You just need to remember what I said about passive focus, and stay mindful of your thoughts. 

Detachment & Perhaps the Most Important Key to Manifestation

So how do you detach from the want? You enjoy the feeling it conjures while it’s in your mind and as soon as your mind shifts focus, you let it go, instead of trying to wrestle it back. You train yourself to think about something else.

manifestation, meditation, neutral

Let it become the fantasy scene you love to visit before you fall asleep or when you have a moment to day dream. Just enjoy experiencing it in your mind for now. It’s going to take practice, but you’ll get there.

Knock on Wood – Manifestation Prevention

You know exactly what I’m talking about here. Those pesky, intrusive, doom or gloom thoughts that you really don’t want to have come true. I’ve had those feelings and wrestled the sh*t out of them only to have things go from bad to worse. Until I learned to neutralize them. How? Well, it’s the same as knocking on wood to affirm your thanks for some good that has come your way. Or saying “god forbid” to prevent something. What you’re doing in both cases is simply calling your attention to a positive to neutralize a negative.

The Ego Again

Giving the thought (not the emotion it conjured) your attention immediately takes its influence in your life down a few notches. Then speak to it directly. This acknowledges the ego, which is really what this is all about anyway. Let it know that it is irrelevant and that you surrender it to something better. You may even see yourself tearing up the thought and tossing it in a fire. Do whatever works and don’t feel silly for doing so. No one needs to know the inner workings of your mind. Actually, it’s best if they don’t.

So when you’re done, don’t give the negative thought one second more of your attention. Because when you try to override a negative thought by forcing a positive one on top of it, your passive focus goes to worry. And passive worry manifests the undesired outcome. So be direct. Then when you declare it being let go, find something else to think about.

We often seem to manifest things we don’t want simply because our minds go unchecked. Allowed to flitter here and there without care or consideration for what your mind is passively focussing on. But you can begin to guide your mind. Just know that it’s going to take time and diligence. It’s a practice. (And practice has a different essence than trying. Practice has a definite goal. Trying is more like testing the waters.) There’s a lot of engraining to be undone, so be patient, but get to doing it.

Faith & Manifestation

True, there is a level of faith involved to my methods of manifestation. But that’s not to say you need to believe in a higher power. You simply need to embrace the simple fact that you will carry on, despite either a positive or negative outcome. You will handle what you need to handle, no matter how undesirable. And more than likely, you will survive. Giving it a bit more thought, perhaps calling it “self assurance” would be better for non-believers.

It doesn’t really matter, it’s all the same quantum principle at work here. I don’t really get it either, and maybe we never will. But if you’re still reading this, you know there is some truth to this for you.

Dwelling is Not Dreaming – A Manifestation Truth

dreaming, manifestation

If you’re anything like me – a recovering skeptic who had to embrace that mainstream science just hasn’t sufficiently explained coincidences to my liking, which meant I had to simply surrender to things I couldn’t quite understand – you should begin to realize that if you really want something, you get in your own way by dwelling on it rather than dreaming it.

Every time you think about the steps to get where you want to go, or what it’s going to take to get there, you press “Pause,” or worse yet, “Stop” on your manifestation. Of all the coincidences I’ve experienced, both small and absolutely mind bendingly big, they all were scenes I saw in my mind without any attachment. The small ones came about quickly and left just as fast. The big ones took a little more repetition which took a little longer, but truly not too long in retrospect, and changed my life.

All of my best manifestations were simply visualizations of things I enjoyed dreaming about for me. I loved seeing myself in those scenarios. They were basically day dreams that received a bit more attention to detail. And were ones I repeated without attachment. That was it. Both the big and small “intentional” coincidences had underlying essences of pure contentment.

Do, Don’t Try

So my friend was right, if only a bit dickish about his position. Do. Don’t try. Because it turns out that trying is just busy work that places passive focus on the wrong idea. And the secret to creating the life you want is in the “do.” Because the essence of “doing” is the path to your goal. “Doing” is the practice which affirms your dedication to the goal.

So practice intentional manifestation. It’s really not too hard, and you do get better with practice. So simply practice using your imagination until you get good at it, like you were when you were young. Imagine scenes in which the essence makes you feel contented and then let it rest while your mind moves on. Then practice finding peace in your day-to-day routine. Even if the only joy is knowing that tonight, when you lay your head down, you get to go to the place you truly want to be.

Oh, and don’t bother doing the opposite, like worrying about not succeeding so you will succeed, because while it will work, believe me I’m a master of this, it’s stressful. And may cause you to not recognize when you’ve actually succeeded. This is how expectations continue to rise, never to be achieved. Not to mention, it’s a very slippery slope toward becoming a curmudgeon.

About the author

The Enlightened Spectacle blog uses the exes, codependent tendencies, and esoteric thoughts of one woman in search of life’s deeper meaning as the inspiration for you to deviate from social norms, gain new perspectives, and embrace the darkness on your own Path of Enlightenment.

Josie de Vere is evolving thinker who happens to be codependent and also a writer. Hoping her journey through the darkness to know enlightenment inspires others along the way.


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