Isn’t it what we all want? A new way of thinking. Because if we’re honest with ourselves, we all want some new way to think which will facilitate improvement. And improvement is a way of healing the wounds which are caused by our inner and outer reality.
I’m not going to claim that improving our thoughts is somehow miraculous. Because improving our actual thoughts has nothing to do with it. What matters is how we perform the act of thinking as we go in search of what resonates. Really resonates.
Thinking Thoughts That Resonate
So how do you think thoughts that resonate? First you must become aware. You have a thought, you have a feeling, you form an opinion, you carry on to the next. Rarely does thinking include why you think a certain way or what influenced your opinions. So begin to pay attention to the feeling of your thoughts. And search for the feeling that cannot be explained other than by saying, “I just know this is right.” It’s that fleeting feeling of true harmony that eludes so many of us more often than not. That’s your intuition opening the door of exploration.
But don’t fool yourself. We can lie to ourselves and tell ourselves that a situation creates a thought (and subsequent good feeling) which resonates simply because we really need to fill a void in ourselves or our lives. We all do it. And periods of retrospection prove it. So in these cases, grab your quantum egg timer, because this is what sets the clock ticking. It could be a day or twenty years, but like all lies, you’ll have to walk its spectrum back to the truth. This is why it’s so important to honest with ourselves and practice objective thinking which resonates with honesty, especially when making a commitment. Even if we really want its outcome.
Embracing thinking which resonates is about release. It’s a “let go” of control that feels so good that it almost brings tears to your eyes. It took me years to experience fleeting moments of this release, so I’m not sure how to tell you to do this other than having a wild amount of patience and forget everything you think you know.
My delay was being intensely rooted in this physical reality. The down side to linear (over)thinking. And since it’s about talking to yourself as though there is another version of you you’re giving permission to talk, it took my opinionated and big-mouthed self a minute to get here. If this isn’t very easy for you either, I recommend a small amount of (legal) marijuana. That’s an excellent shaman to help facilitate thinking of any kind. But too much can cause mental static. Oh, and keep a journal, so you don’t forget.
But whatever you do, don’t stop. It’s not miraculous, these steps add up over time. And no, it won’t “take too long.” Let go of your control and embrace that everything is perfectly timed. So you might as well start thinking, because you’re going to live it anyway.
Signs You’re Thinking Resonating Thoughts
I hate to tell you this. There are no signs to prove that the resonating thoughts you’re thinking have you on “the right track.” It’s actually the opposite. When you’re being completely honest with yourself and embrace that honesty, you don’t need signs. Actually, the signs you have been getting (in the form of red flags) just disappear. When something truly resonates you’ll know and there will be no obstacles. None. It’s easy. That’s your sign.
Release is An Embrace
The hardest part, at least for me, is the release of control. But I’m finding that when I do release my mind to embrace what resonates, the path is extremely clear and following it is easy. Almost effortless. All too often I try to hold myself to a standard that I must always know what to do next. But sometimes what resonates is that I don’t know. And for some reason this is hard for me to accept. But the truth to release is that it’s equally OK not to know as it is to know. One actually leads to the other rather effortlessly when you embrace their respective resonance.
Thinking in Reverse
While I can’t really offer you a “How To,” I can tell you how I found my way to thinking thoughts that resonate with me. And that began by sniffing out an alternate perspective.
I realized through a social media post (more on that below) that I think in order to gain another meaning. It doesn’t mean that I’ll necessarily agree with what I come up with, or that the new thought will resonate. But this helps me experience my mind differently. And the only way I know how to do that is by thinking of opposites. Quite literally, thinking in reverse.
And so for the first time in, well maybe ever, I’ve shut my mouth and silenced my mind and listened to what came in…and didn’t judge it by my perception of my external reality. I just listened and accepted what I heard, sans judgement.
Don’t get me wrong, I do meditate a lot and I have a lot of great thoughts that resonate. But my conscious thoughts are never more than a breath away, poised with some overthought analysis based on my opinions of the external. But I recently realized that while I have been doing some deep thinking, and attempting to share the wisdom I have gained, my thought experiences are still entirely subjective. Sure, the essence of the wisdom is still relevant. But I was still using my newly found insights to present, albeit more articulately, my judgement of whatever outward stimulus inspired the thought.
Yes, the thoughts resonated, but resonated negatively. Which is a red flag.
Thinking in Red Flags
Red flags are both inward and outward signs we usually ignore. But they are giving us the sign that we’re not on the right track. As I mentioned, when something resonates, the path is easy. And “ease” is the sign.
But in the spirit of red flags, I’d like to share with you one of my personal favorites. It’s the one I have often mistaken for an ominous “sign” from some intrusive and worrisome thought which causes a pit in my stomach. I would immediately begin to wrestle with my conscious mind to think differently. And it became a (losing) battle to overrule that feeling.
But if you are thinking thoughts which resonate with you it should be comforting to know that the pit in the stomach is a great feeling. It’s your red flag to yourself not to “change your thinking,” but rather call your attention to a thought which doesn’t resonate. And so you should appreciate your body’s way of telling you to think of the opposite to find a better resonance. Again, thinking in reverse and accepting that there is something different which can be experienced. Even if you don’t know how just yet.
There’s really no right or wrong way to opposite thinking. It’s actually pretty simple.
But if you’re an overthinker, as I am, you may find it helpful to start out by unravelling a thought or idea from its end only to restructure it in an effort to decipher the real reason the initial thought resonates. Similar to reverse reasoning. You may be surprised to see past scenarios appear in your mind’s eye as you do this. And this is how you heal the past in the present.
This is how embracing what resonates teaches you, and gives you permission, to embrace how you feel, rather than how you’ve been taught to feel. Which is applicable to the past, present, and future.
I’m Thinking Resolution
Simply by beginning this practice, I’d be willing to wager that you may learn something new about yourself. And approaching your mind differently yields a renewed sense of curiosity for a life which may have become rather mundane, or worse yet, burdensome. Well, at least it has for me. And since I’m pretty much like you, I’m sure you’ll see what I mean.
In my case, thinking evolved from guilt laden embarrassment for “not knowing better” to allowing myself to reach some sort of resolution/understanding. All in the name of wisdom. And a wiser present and future.
As I continue my quest along my life’s best path, I realized that it’s how I think, not what I think, that I want to share with you. That’s the wisdom. The actionable wisdom.
I’ve realized that my way with words may be able to help facilitate something more than just showing you the results of thinking thoughts which resonate. Because if I’m being honest with myself, and I now know that I am, the results of my thinking are still entirely my opinion. An opinion filtered through the 3D glasses I use to experience reality. And what the world doesn’t need any more of is a highly refined, finely tuned, articulated perspective of an opinion with which people can blindly agree.
Thinking thoughts which resonate means more than being right, or creating a persuasive argument to gain followers. It’s about the refinement of knowledge so it may become your wisdom.
What We Do Need
Based on the nimble scrolling and mindless “double tap” to imprint an emoji, the world definitely needs more reasons to think. So instead of complaining about how little thought people put into things, I’ve decided to use this blog and my Instagram to invite people to think again.
I’ve begun to use the hashtag #stopthescroll. My post then invites people to take a slightly different action and swipe left to read my words. I fully expect, even encourage people to judge my words and my motives for writing them, just as I often do of others. As they do so, I am simply asking them to consider, even if for a split second, the opposite of their initial reaction.
This requires a splash more engagement than our usual social media experiences require, and doesn’t ask for a “like,” or whatever. I simply want to help those who think they embody the inspirational words they read (but often don’t), with the first step toward achievement. Instead of admonishing them for not having done so.
I’m hoping that this is a way to help people see things differently, if that’s what they truly want.
So, how did this “thought experiment” begin? Of course, it was brought to my awareness after chewing on a social media post which was completely relatable to my ex.
Normally I’m not impressed by these types of posts. So I’m not sure if this whole reverse thinking thing has changed me more than I realize, or if the cannabis is just that good. But this hit me hard. I was kind to him. Gave him so many chances, so many opportunities to do right by me. And then one day, I didn’t. But rather than walking away, like a reasonable adult. I turned it around.
Which Got Me Thinking
This post got me thinking about how vile some of my words were to my ex. I really lashed out, seemingly punishing him for torturing me with his empty promises and double standards. Still not saying it was right, but that’s the truth. But now that it’s over and there’s nothing more to justify I can think this post through objectively and in reverse. Which took my thinking from cause and effect to something more profound.
Looking back, I began treating him like trash, because he treated me like trash. Which is a bitter pill to swallow. There were so many good times. No. Amazing times. But thinking about it in reverse, I always knew he ignored everything in my life…unless it was convenient for him, and suited his ex, his friends, his kids, his parents, his sisters, and on and on. There were so. many. obstacles. So many red flags. And so often I ignored that we did not resonate. At least at that time. It wasn’t right, at least not for the long-run. The quantum egg timer was ticking.
Instead of reading the writing on the wall and simply walking away, I chose to match his abysmal actions with equally abysmal words. After all, I’m good at words. I always knew there was no winning this, but at least I knew I was being honest…no matter how vile. Which was more than could be said for him. I acted under the guise of righteous indignation, rather than simply facing the truth.
I wanted him to give me what I wasn’t willing to give myself. Time. Love. Attention. I was so starved for it all that the little bit of flow we did share was so wonderful and quenching that I let it override the massive lack of resonance in almost every other aspect. And in a way, my vitriol that I directed at him could very easily be seen as me admonishing myself for neglecting me. If we look at the situation in reverse.
And that’s when thinking in reverse made me realize that this was another pattern. Perhaps a pattern of textbook codependence or maybe just another psychospiritual journey into my darkness. Whatever it was I have a choice. I can keep going on like this – starting out happy and allow my situation/people turn me sour. I can keep holding on long enough to prove my worth and believe that they will come around. But I sound exactly like my ex-husband’s girlfriend. Fortunately I’ve realized that this constant overthinking brain of mine has afforded me a chance.
A chance at being objective and honest with myself, a chance to do better. A chance to do the opposite…a chance to do for myself and embrace what resonates. If only I always knew exactly what that was. And so the journey continues.
You may remember that The Pemberley Estate Series is taking on a new essence as Mr. Darcy journeys into his personal darkness. Part II is almost ready to hit the (e)shelves and Part III won’t be too far behind. In the meantime, Part I awaits you on Amazon.