This is probably totally irrelevant to you, but for the sake of this post you’ll need to know this. I am a Capricorn. And I fit my zodiac characteristics to a t. Well, I’m working on being more coolheaded, but it’s an evolution. The truth is, I’ve never paid much attention to astrology. Probably because it was a bit overwhelming with its charts and various signs. And also because it really wasn’t “my thing.” But this Mercury Retrograde I have had a slew of well-timed “coincidences” present themselves. And after all that I have learned from my shadows, I feel I owe it to my ongoing evolution to take a closer look.
The Hypocritical Capricorn
Until now, I’m not sure that the Capricorn I was would have had the right approach to astrology. Honestly, there was a time, before I embraced the power of the mind, when I believed I was “too smart” for things like astrology. (I roll my eyes just admitting that.) But I always felt that I was “based in reality.” What I could see and hear. The fallacy there is – I can see the sun, moon, and stars.
Discredit Nothing
The truth I have uncovered within myself no longer has any place for such short sighted opinions. At this point, I would feel like a hypocrite if I didn’t give equal consideration to the ideas I explore. Because I simply don’t know everything and therefore can discredit nothing…well, almost nothing. And since I know my mind to have such influence over my world – my mind being a place that I can sense but cannot actually see – how could I possibly ignore that the sun, moon, and stars could have some sort of influence? Even Aristotle proposed that the moon effects the fluids of the human brain. And while science is still unable to find a true link between the physical effects of the moon on humans, what about the moon and its philosophical, metaphysical effects?
Insert Mercury Retrograde
I have heard of Mercury Retrograde and know a few people who really live by it. But not me. Even a week ago, I didn’t pay much mind. Equally, I didn’t discredit it. I just didn’t give it much thought one way or another.
But on February 4, 2021, around 3am I was studying a tarot card in search of a deeper thought. And yes, marijuana was involved. For some reason, I focussed on the Taurus which was represented in my deck’s Major Arcana – The Chariot.
The Taurus, Capricorn, and Cannabis Trifecta
I had no idea what was unfolding with such a simple curiosity about Taurus. I want to try and explain how this Capricorn was introduced to Taurus by tarot and cannabis. And went on to have another inspired thought. Which turned into poetry about The Grateful Dead and the saying 420. But honestly, it’s just too bananas to even try and write it out. So, I’ll let my Instagram post speak for itself.
It’s that thought spiral I mentioned before. And I love how it twists and turns through my mind. It fascinates me for hours and also explains why I’m single. Anyway…
Back to Mercury Retrograde
I had started to explore my zodiac a bit more after that. Learning little snippets here and there. The most profound being that both of my exes are Cancer. And that one is my polar opposite. So next up on the dating zodiac chart – Taurus!
Even though I was exploring astrology, I didn’t know we were in Mercury Retrograde until a friend of mine mentioned it on social media. And I still didn’t pay much mind to that coincidence. Even then I didn’t know what “Mercury Retrograde” really meant. But last weekend I paid a bill online and the system glitched. And my payment disappeared. That’s when I remembered that Mercury Retrograde had something to do with technology and communication. So I looked it up. And sure enough. Technical difficulties and communication breakdowns. Interesting.
Then that same friend (mentioned above) and I had a miscommunication on the time of our upcoming call (to go over the Grateful Dead lessons he has been giving me). His response was “Classic Mercury Retrograde communication flub.” There it was again. So something in my Capricorn awareness wanted me to look further into this phenomenon.
I know there are plenty of naysayers whose feet are firmly planted in reality. But I decided to set my gaze on the stars and go deeper. I know. So Capricorn of me. Because Capricorn is, “oriented toward contemplation and engagement with inner awareness,” (astrology.com). Which is clearly the path I’ve been on.
The Past is the Present…for a Moment
Somewhere along the lines of my searches of Mercury Retrograde I learned that while the planet appears to go backwards, this is a metaphor of the past coming back into our lives. And reconciliations with exes can happen. Woah. Naturally, my Capricorn brain immediately began to strategize a plan for when the ex sweeps back in.
And while I made that plan, I realized (through contemplation) that this was an opportunity to travel through time, in a way. The past is in the present, so there is a great opportunity to reconcile it. Again, so Capricorn – this “focussed self-mastery,” (astrology.com). But truly, what a wonderful opportunity. Rather than harp on the perceived misfortunes of this time, perhaps this is how we can reflect. Maybe this is our reminder of the wisdom we have gained from the past. And our opportunity to use it to bring the future into focus.
In case you were wondering, my ex hasn’t showed up. And I’m not sure that it is this retrograde when he will. But oddly enough, just last night, an old friend whom I lost contact with a couple of years ago reached out and asked me to dinner. So, yet another “coincidence” of the past coming to the present in true Mercury Retrograde fashion.
Codependent Capricorn
It’s really bizarre to read the traits of my zodiac. Truthfully, these descriptions couldn’t be more accurate, and they seem to be related to what I have determined to be “codependent.” Determined, consistent, reliable, and fiercely loyal. Even going so far as “over delivering” on promises and being a great judge of character. I know I’ve mentioned all of these traits in previous pieces. Mostly mentioning how my codependent tendencies pushed my narcissistic ex-husband away.
While I’m not denying that emotionally I also fit the definition of codependent to a t. Perhaps I should entertain that my marriage and my past relationships boiled down to a simple matter of compatibility. I have simply applied my Capricorn archetype to the wrong person.
My ex-husband is a Cancer Cusp Leo and his moody ways are pretty consistent with the description of the combination of these signs. Capricorn and Cancer are polar opposites. And Capricorn and Leo have nothing in common. And as the cusp description says, “may evolve into business colleagues in the end.” Which is EXACTLY what we have become. We’ve even said, “Our marriage is a great business relationship.”
Capricorn & Cancer + Edit
My ex-whatever was a full on Cancer and nurturing the home is definitely in his blood. And he did nurture me, as well. But eventually his relentless attention to his ex made the affection he showed me seem contrived. And his need to nurture the home, be it mine or hers, just seemed misguided. And was annoying to this steady minded Cappie.
The Edit
The day after publishing this piece I stumbled upon an article by someone to whom I can relate. A shaman with Jungian flare. He even used the term psycho-spirituality, which is new for me. And it made my heart sing to know that my blend of psychology and spirituality has a tribe. Which means I have more to discover and learn!
His assessment of the wildly dynamic and passionate attraction between this Capricorn and my “twin flame” was perfectly explained. Which added another layer of astrology I don’t quite understand. But mesmerized me, nonetheless.
The Possibilities
My experience with astrology has been extremely enlightening. So many of my strengths and weaknesses are almost exactly as described. Even down to my childhood and upbringing. But what really stands out to my Capricorn essence is the idea that we can “age in reverse.” Feeling weighed down as we start out. Only to let go as life goes on. And you are all witnessing this “letting go” in my entries on this blog.
So whether or not you believe in Mercury Retrograde or astrology, I believe there’s a lesson in this experience for each of us. We shouldn’t need the planets to align, or misalign, for us to slow down and take some time to pause and reflect on who we are. As well as reflect upon our relation to the world around us. This is how we nurture ourselves and live our lives with renewed purpose. And so I leave you with one final thought as we work our way through Mercury Retrograde…
Lit-Enlightened to Literotica
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