Cuckold – Me?! Well, Maybe…

I’m not going to deny. Once upon a time, the word “cuckold” gave me visions of blushing brides turned dominatrix. And charming husbands turned to puddles of submission. Then I started writing literary erotica.

cuckold, dominatrix, bride

As I wrote, a new type of relationship began to evolve between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy in both The Pemberley Estate Series and The Poor Darcy Series. There were moments of domination and moments of submission for each. But no matter the scenario, they each find pleasure in the pleasure of their beloved with another. And I quickly learned that this pleasure is definitively a type of cuckold. So now it’s time we take a look at the super secret, but highly appealing topic of cuckolding.

What the Cuck?

Long ago, and I’m talking about 20 or so years ago, an episode of Real Sex made quite the impression on me. I remember a young hetero couple at a sex club. The woman was having sex with another man, and her boyfriend was having sex with another woman…right next to her. But the kicker is, he was watching his girlfriend. He said he simply loved to watch her pleasure. And believe me, they both looked very satisfied. Turns out, his desire for her pleasure is called Compersion. Much like my Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy literotica.

I know that most of us think of the hardcore cuckold porn that’s out there. But there is a level of fluidity to cuckold. And compersion is a good example. There are a number of reasons why people enjoy being cucked/cuckolding. Starting with biology and going all the way to simply enjoying it for the good ol’ taboo.

The variety of explanations are fascinating to explore. But did you know that you might actually be engaging in cuckolding and not even know it? Before we get too much further, indulge me in some definitions. After all, what would a post on this blog be without them?

Cuckold – Definitions*

  • Cuckold: A person is turned on by the thought, talk of, or actual act of their partner having sex with someone else
  • Cucked: The act of watching your partner have sex with another
  • Cuckoldress: The one having the sex
  • Cuck: The one watching the sex
  • Bull: The addition to the bedroom

That’s Cuckold?

Talk Dirty, dirty talk

Have you ever had a lover ask you about your previous partners and you could tell that it turned them on? Have you ever had a lover talk a little dirty during sex about you being with another partner? Or maybe it was you who got turned on while learning about your partner’s previous escapades. If any of this is true for you, then you might be in a cuckold relationship. The truth is, we’ve all probably experienced a little cuckoldress or cuck in our thoughts at one point or another.

Crazy right? Not really. As I mentioned, cuckolding is not all BDSM all day. Just like spectrum of sexual and romantic identities, cuckold too has a breadth. Jealousy is obviously a big motivator. And then there’s the idea of compersion – the pleasure from their pleasure. How can we possibly leave out the naughty nature of the taboo of being with another man/woman? It’s hot and steamy. So as you can see, it’s not always necessarily about being humiliated. And it’s not always about submission. So those hardcore cuckold porn videos while accurate, may also be extreme. It’s all about fluidity.

Enriching Your Sex Life

Until I began writing this I didn’t even consider that cuckolding was a way to enrich your sex life. Not everyone who engages in cuckolding has cuckold experiences every single time they have sex. But having an experience with a “bull” can be revisited in fantasy – both mentally and verbally. A true cuckold experience can live on with a couple for many months and years.

Cuckold Confidence

Last night my friend and I had a conversation about our younger years. It was clear that we were both much freer then than we are now. Honestly, I don’t know why. We’re both more confident now than we were then. And we both know what we want sexually. But despite our solid cougar appeal, we both agree that we were more sexually liberated when we were younger. (I think I’ll explore this in an upcoming post.)

It would even seem that we have both participated in some light cuckold sexual experiences. But we both would have been more apt to bravely partake in our fantasies in our late-teens and early twenties rather than in our forties and fifties. It takes a very specific level of confidence to act out a fantasy. Especially if that fantasy is a taboo fetish. We’re older now. And we say we’re wiser. But if we’re both being honest, it would be nice to reclaim some of that youthful abandon and embrace our inner naughty. My suggestion – next time your partner gets a little naughty in the bedroom, take their cue. They may like to give you the control and experience their pleasure through yours.

Sex Toys

About the author

The Enlightened Spectacle blog uses the exes, codependent tendencies, and esoteric thoughts of one woman in search of life’s deeper meaning as the inspiration for you to deviate from social norms, gain new perspectives, and embrace the darkness on your own Path of Enlightenment.

Josie de Vere is evolving thinker who happens to be codependent and also a writer. Hoping her journey through the darkness to know enlightenment inspires others along the way.

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