I came across a post today on Instagram that I liked and then unliked. Why? Because it promoted something I just couldn’t endorse. Contradiction. The meme spoke of not allowing the actions of others to affect your mood. Solid advice. But the comment below was the exact opposite of empowering. The comment said something along the lines of how your relationship should be the biggest source of happiness in your life. Wrong. It went on to talk about how you “deserve” all kinds of attention from your partner. The painful truth is – what you’re being told you “deserve” by the self help gurus are really just lofty expectations which will set your partner up for failure. Sadly this is what will leave you single and wondering what happened. So let’s talk about how to manifest love, a love that will last.
Where Do I Begin?
Let’s start with the manifesting movement. Do I think we are the creators of our own realities? Absolutely. There is something about our imagination and how things play out in our external realities. I don’t pretend to have all the answers on this, but this feels right for me. We can all agree that the mind is a fascinating labyrinth. One I hope we never completely decode.
The Law of Attraction movement has been around forever, literally. (If you’d like to learn more, I recommend searching for Neville Goddard on YouTube.) Love and money are the two most popular things people want to manifest. And many would agree that love ≥ money. So now we have a barrage of people who will help you manifest love. But before we get into how to manifest love, I’d like to address some serious flaws in our expectations of love. Flaws which may slow your manifesting roll.
What is Love?
The title of this section reminds me of the 90’s song by Haddaway. We tell one another that we all deserve love. I don’t totally disagree, but my sex logic tells me that it’s just not that romantic. I think our individual definitions of love evolve over time. And of course, our experiences with love – what we read, what we watch, who we admire, situations we encounter, etc. – will influence our definitions of it. If we’re being totally honest with ourselves, our experiences with love can tell us a lot about our emotional maturity, too. But that takes a vast amount of introspection and a willingness to be honest with ourselves.
So, your vision of love becomes the goal you wish to see play out in your external reality. But before you get to repeating “I have the love of my life” to yourself three times in the morning and at night, we should probably touch on exactly what you think you “deserve.”
My friend’s twenty year old daughter told me that she thinks she’s ready for a boyfriend. It didn’t take long for her to give me a list of desirable attributes of her anticipated Mr. Right.
- Not too clingy
The last one seemed to be rather important. All are fair attributes, and you can see the novice in what your twenty year old self once thought of boyfriend/girlfriend material. Yet there was one question I asked which gave her pause, and I think it’s relevant for us all.
That’s all great. But what do you bring to the table? What does he get from you in return?
I actually saw the glow from the lightbulb reflect off of her ginger hair. She smiled and replied, “I never thought of it that way.” And why would she? It’s infinitely more common to think about what you want rather than what you offer. And therein lies the reason for my comment above. This lack of self awareness is exactly what sets our love interests up for failure. We expect them to be who we want them to be, without regard for who they actually are, and moreover, how we receive them.
You really need to look at yourself and determine what it is that you bring to the table before you start focussing mental and emotional energy on manifesting love. Moreover, it’s not about what you want from a partner, but why you want it. More on this in a minute.
When Love Bites
This blog is just chock full of love songs from the 80s and 90s. Anyway, what can we make of the Law of Attraction when the relationship with the love of your life ends? The Law of Attraction would say you brought this on yourself. Whether you want to believe that or not, it’s quite true.
Essentially your vision and your feelings are out of synch. Often times it’s not the vision which needs work, but how you feel about the vision. Diving into why you feel a certain way – undeserving, insecure, etc. – is what opens up an entire can of worms. It will send you on a quest of self awareness. And you will learn a lot, if you allow yourself to feel all those feelings you have shut off to preserve your heart. But in the end you will gain the one emotion the Law of Attraction requires – confidence.
How to Manifest Love
I’m 99% sure that most of you won’t like what I’m about to say. But the truth is we do manifest love. It’s just that we manifest the love we think we deserve, deep down. Whether it’s amazing or nothing at all. It’s our self image which hinders our ability to manifest love…and anything else. It’s about what we truly think we deserve. If you don’t have what you want, or can’t see yourself with it, then you most likely don’t think you deserve it. And you need to figure out why.
First Things First
Ask yourself why you want to find love. The answer may seem obvious to you, but you need to ask the question. What will this other person give to you that you are unable to give to yourself? I hope the answer is, “nothing.” If you are able to honestly say that there is nothing another person can give you that you can’t give yourself, then you have the confidence needed for a solid manifesting experience. If you are looking for someone to fill the void of loneliness and/or to make you feel valuable, then you need to table your love quest and get busy manifesting your self confidence.
Find Synergy & You’ll Manifest Love
Once you realize that you are capable of giving yourself everything you need, you may proceed to ask yourself the next question. “How will this person complement my life?” Because the whole point of a relationship is to complement you, not complicate you. If you are able to imagine a beautiful, synergistic flow between you and the perfect partner, then the emotion your imagined scene creates is primed to manifest magic. As I said, the way to manifest love (or anything else) is all about the synergy between the thought and the emotion the thought inspires.
You are always manifesting. Always. And you manifest love and everything else based on your state of mind. So take a look at your life and you’ll have an excellent idea of what’s in your mind and how you feel about it.
Love – The Best Chemical Reaction of Them All
New love washes through the heart like the rising tide upon the shore. You are untouchable when you are newly in love. It’s by far the best chemical reaction a human can have. Barely edging out an orgasm. Although orgasms during the height of new found love are pretty fantastic. We all want love, don’t we? We want that fairytale love. But looking for love outside of yourself should be the guide which leads you back to yourself. It sounds cliche, but you can’t know the love of another if you don’t understand love for yourself first.
I believe that everyone is a candidate for love. But you must evolve your definition of love as you evolve through life. Love is in fact the greatest emotion, but we tend to romanticize it a bit too much. We use words like adoration, devotion, soulmate. Why? Because it feels good to think we’re important enough to someone to merit these descriptions. The truth is, the highs and lows of this type of “love” are extreme and often unsustainable. I’m here to tell you that I’ve manifested a lot in my life, but nothing lasted until I acknowledged my insecurities and began to focus on self-love.
Manifesting Love Advice
Remember that manifesting anything, especially love, requires calmness. Confidence inspires this calm. With that in mind, the best advice I can give you is to not try so hard. Let your focus be on yourself. There is no rush to figure it all out so you can get back to manifesting love. Allow yourself to enjoy the exploration. Trust me. Whether you are anxious or not, it will take the same amount of time. So relax, there is no hurry.
LitErotica & Sex Logic
Manifesting love shouldn’t be stressful, but it can take a little while to catch your stride. So keep in mind that reading is an excellent way to reduce stress. And reading literotica is a great way to reduce stress and conjure up some good emotions. Fortunately “Mr. Darcy – The Veil of Darkness,” the complete Poor Darcy Series is available now on Amazon Kindle, and we have plenty of other short stories from which to choose. And don’t forget to sign up for our Sex Logic Newsletter while you’re here.