This originally started out as a virginity chat. My primary question was, “why is my and you’re virginity so important to everyone else?” I was even heading down the path of discussing the element of innocence which is lost when you resign your virtue. But boy was I way off. Silly me. I thought virginity was a personal choice. I was wrong. Turns out that entirely too many people believe that your personal virginity is directly linked to the moral decline of society. Oh, and abstinence is going to save us all. At least that’s where the “Virginity Rocks” brand directs you. So now I’m going to apply some Sex Logic to the topic of virginity. And then I’m going to poke holes in everything surrounding the Virginity Rocks resurgence…and some guy named Danny Duncan.
Sex Logic – Virginity Rocks
Growing up under the Reagan and Bush Administrations I never saw any blatant chastity movements like Virginity Rocks, even though it was said to be in schools. Maybe that’s where I went awry? *Insert tongue in cheek* I was fifteen years old when I lost my virginity. Fifteen. Almost thirty years later, I still have no regrets. I was young, I was experimenting, and I was careful. Was I naive? Absolutely. But I was also three years into puberty and the definition of puberty is actually quite telling.
Puberty is the time in life when a boy or girl becomes sexually mature.
Source: MedlinePlus.gov
So by definition, I was sexually mature. But I won’t hesitate to say that I was mentally immature.
Age of Enlightenment
Losing your virginity doesn’t change your body, but it definitely changes your mind. When I chose to have sex with my boyfriend it began a new evolution. The end of innocence ushered in the age of enlightenment. Interpersonal dynamics changed. How I related to people changed. I began to see the world differently and to think about things differently. Maybe this is what Virginity Rocks, and Christianity in general are afraid of. I finally began to have experiences and applied the principles I had learned. I began to define my own morality, rather than have it defined for me. Branching out from the foundation I had been given, I went on to explore things that absolutely challenged the power the church had over my soul. Which I’m sure was bad for their membership and tax-free revenue.
Don’t Get Me Wrong
I have no problem with those who follow religion. My issue is with those who try to impart their beliefs on me. Whether it’s religion or government or my neighbor. I don’t like any entity infringing on my freedoms to believe what I feel is best for me. Especially when science is on my side.
Virginity is Personal
Do I recommend that everyone lose their virginity so young? Absolutely not. I actually don’t recommend anything about virginity. Because unlike the Virginity Rocks brand, I believe that virginity is personal. What I do recommend is being logical about sex. Inform yourself and inform your children. Nurture critical thinking in your children. And if you have friends who are virgins have informed and unbiased discussions about sex. In the end, virginity, like your sex life is your choice.
The Chastity Belt
Unlike the Virginity Rocks crowd, I’m not here to tell you that your minor children should only hear words of abstinence and chastity. I grew up with people whose parents did that and many ended up with babies out of wedlock. So from where I sit, it doesn’t work. I believe that your children are your responsibility. But I also believe that children will reach an age where they will begin to think for themselves and it’s up to you whether or not you want them to turn to you when they need guidance. This alone should make you consider that your morals may not be the morals of others. Including your children. You gave them roots in morality, now give them wings to explore.
The Difference Between Morals & Logic
My parents were straight with me about everything. I had some pretty strict rules, too. But just like generations before me and after me, nothing stopped me from rebelling. And I made it through, and so did my friends. The truth is, there will always be movements like Virginity Rocks. Why? Because religions have a lot of money and they want to ensure their morality survives. The truth is, you can’t force morality. You can’t legislate morality either. The bigger truth is morality is actually just opinion. Religions just have a lot of people with the same opinion. And from this vantage, many of their arguments on morality are just logical fallacies. There will always be those who will blindly follow, but once people are exposed to logic supported by science the veil can be lifted.
The Religion of Virginity Rocks
Virginity Rocks has apparently been around since the 1990s. However, I actually couldn’t find an “official” website for them. If you go to virginityrocks.com you’ll find yourself at a “Killer Merch” site. (Oh the irony.) A site which basically produces merch. Interestingly enough a video blogger named Danny Duncan wore it humorously and it became a thing…again.
I actually don’t have a problem with people exercising their freedom of speech. Say whatever you want to say. Support what you want to support, as long as you know what you’re actually supporting…and don’t ask me to support it. And this is where my brain bent. The person who rejuvenated this movement, Danny Duncan, said something about his movement which makes zero sense.
Even though some wear these shirts as a joke, Virginity Rocks is anything but a “tongue in cheek” movement. It’s also anything but wanting people to do whatever they want to do. It’s literally the exact opposite. Virginity Rocks wants people to abstain. Period. If you want to have sex, and who are we kidding, everyone does at some point, overruling your most basic desire in the name of god literally doesn’t support doing what they want.
But I do agree…
I do agree that people shouldn’t be pressured into anything. But most would. We could still debate the “not be pressured into anything” comment. Religion is all about using your soul as leverage to pressure you into thinking what they want you to think. It’s bad for business if you don’t.
Yet here we sit. A prankster has resurrected (great pun!) an abstinence movement which either is or isn’t serious, but “has a positive message.” I’m not a feminist or any other type of activist. What I am is a realist and what I’m seeing is a bunch of free advertising for a religious movement…or on the flip side, a bunch of advertising for a video blogger’s brand. Well played, Danny!
I’ll Say It Again – Virginity is Personal
Whether we want to admit it or not, religion still has a stranglehold on society. This is the only reason why I can see the need for society to care so much about what you do with your maidenhead. Virginity in every way is personal. (Unless you want to turn it into a brand, then apparently it’s public.) And sex in every way is natural. The only thing that changes about you post-coitus is how you think and how you feel about yourself. Sex is mental and it’s no secret that many feel guilty about masturbation and other sex acts. This is not natural, this is conditioning through puritanical propaganda.
But Who Am I To Say Anything?
I’m sure most people in support of Virginity Rocks Christian purity would throw all kinds of Ad Hominem fallacies at me. That’s A-OK. The truth is, I’m a literotica writer, I embrace sexuality, I embrace sex. If you don’t want to read about sex or watch porn, don’t. But don’t nanny the rest of the world based on your opinions about sex. In a time that is so accepting of sexuality, it’s weird that we are still so sensitive about actual sex.
Just search “sex” on Twitter. You’ll find a barrage of nannies telling you what sex positions to avoid, and oh so much more. For anyone to pretend that they’re more evolved than anyone else because of a righteous attitude toward sex is just absurd. It’s also interesting to see how many people use their own sexual inadequacies as the bar for others to hold themselves. Yet strangely I saw no logical approach to sex. This is what I just don’t understand. We’re surrounded by opinions formed with zero logic. So here’s some more sex logic –
Sex is completely normal, highly desirable act between lovers…and friends, and sometimes even strangers.
Mr. Darcy Literotica
There’s nothing virginal about Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet. The complete Poor Darcy Series is now available on Amazon Kindle.
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