When it comes to literary erotica, even if you’re reading pure fantasy, it could be argued that there’s always an element of truth in any sex story. Truths could lie in the scene, the emotion, or even the fantasy. This of course got me thinking about the true sex stories. You know, the ones you want to remember, or in some cases forget.
So I’ve decided that I want to do a series of blogs about real sex – the good sex, the bad sex, and the cringeworthy sex. I want to explore how sex and sexuality come together to create unique life experiences, and perhaps dig a little deeper into the science of it all.
True Sex Stories
Let’s kick this off with a true sex story that sounds like it fell out of a 1979 copy of Penthouse Forum.
A Cougar Down River
This true sex story starts out as every sex story should…
In the late 70s, a young man, let’s call him Jates, graduated from high school in small town America and set out to make a living while he lived life to the fullest. During the summer Jates was a river guide in Southern California. In the winter, a ski bum in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Aside from working and growing weed for some extra cash, 20 year old Jates had one thing on his mind. Sex.
There was ample sex available for men and women on that river, whether river guide or guest. But there was something special about the groups of liberated ladies on “girl’s weekend” rafting trips. There were plenty of willing participants for Jates. His virility and magnetic personality came neatly packaged with shaggy blonde locks and naturally lean, muscular physique. Simply said, Jates scored…a lot. Whether it was good sex or bad sex was mostly irrelevant. What kind of true sex story would this be if a woman twenty-one years his senior hadn’t come along and changed his life?
This woman was not the first of the cougar-kind. Although arguably amongst the best in the early 1980s. Now picture a tiny motel room in classic Southern California style. Then imagine a buxom brunette giving young Jates a weekend of solid lessons in female anatomy. She taught him the do’s and don’ts of cunnilingus, as well as the proper, most satisfying usage of all applicable parts of his anatomy. Then, once the weekend was over she slipped from his life, never to be seen again.
RANDOM (yet relevant) FOOTNOTE: This woman would now be in her 80s.
True Sex Stories – The Lesson
Although she was gone, the lesson in this true sex story has stayed with Jates forever. What was it that she truly taught him, you ask? Consideration. From that moment on, Jates was a “she comes first” man. Every encounter he had further built his endurance along with his reputation.
He’ll also tell you that he learned about the art of sex, in addition to the act of sex. He learned how to listen to every little squeak, every movement, how his woman breathed. “It was the only way to tell if what I was doing was working,” he explained. Jates also went into explicit detail as to the art of whispering those dirty nothings in a woman’s ear to set a tone of each phase of their intimate exchange. It was clear that Jates’s true sex story had made quite the impression on his life.
Forty years later Jates holds the firm belief that older women have a duty to teach younger men about sex. Quite honestly, I don’t disagree.
Science and The Cougar
As a woman in my early forties, I suppose some would say that I’m a cougar…if I were into younger men. So I’m going to give you a personal point of view and then back it up with science.
The true sex story of my life goes back almost 30 years. (Holy F*ck!) The evolution of a horny teenager, excited to explore and experience sex evolved into a ravenous fuck buddy relationship when I was 19 and he was 32. I settled down in my twenties, and spent the better part of two decades married. I lost my desire for sex somewhere in my early thirties, only to discover that I didn’t lose my desire for sex, but rather the desire for my partner. After a few years in a sexless marriage, I escaped and now find myself exploring sex with confidence rather than apprehension. Although I’ve glazed over all of the details, as science would have it, it seems that I’m actually pretty normal.
Sex Does Get Better with Age…at least for women
Don’t worry fellas, we’ll talk about age and sex for you in an upcoming post. But for now, you know what they say…”she comes first.”
Back in 2013, Live Science reported on a long running sex research study which has been continually performed on suburban California women since the early 1970s. (The 70’s were clearly big for sex.) The study explains that women’s sex lives become more satisfying after 40, even after age 80 (which gives me hope!)…whether they’re having sex or not.
Why so satisfied after 40, ladies? The study linked above goes on to cite a mindfulness and meditation study as one reason for sexual satisfaction. But there are endless possible reasons from the quality of sex to maybe they are simply satisfied by not having sex. The reasons don’t truly matter, though. The bottom line is that women are more sexually satisfied over the age of 40.
The overall takeaway from this study is that sexual satisfaction is about how you approach sex mentally. When we’re young we put a lot of pressure on ourselves about our looks. Then we worry about the sexual expectations of our partners. I could go on and on. Perhaps as we get older and more experienced in life we discover that sex has its place in our lives. There’s really no need to fret about it.
“In most of the studies of sex dysfunction, the main complaint of young people is that they have low interest in sex,” Barrett-Connor said. “These [older] women were also not thinking about sex, planning about sex ahead of time, longing for sex, but they did have sex activity that was satisfactory to them.”Source: Live Science – Sex Life Becomes More Satisfying for Women After 40
The Impact of a Cougar
Could it be that in Jates’s true sex story his mystery woman simply had a different approach to sex than his twenty-something counterparts? Could she have forgiven herself the perceived flaws of her youth? Did she embrace her sexuality in such a way that she wanted to ensure that the art of sex was not lost? Or maybe she was just a horny woman who liked horny tight-bodied young men. The possibilities are infinite, but she left satisfied. She also left a lifelong impression on a man who embodied her tutelage and continues to strive for sexual excellence.
I hope that now that she’s in her eighties that she remembers Jates as fondly as he remembers her and, most of all, I hope she is still enjoying sexual satisfaction.