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Enabling “Bad” Behavior

Allow me to preface this blog with – if you’re looking for a more socially acceptable perspective on something you feel guilt/regret/sorrow over – a post condemning you with words of righteousness in your quest for penance through self flagellation, this probably isn’t going to be the right place for you. Save the most extreme sins, such as theft, murder, and the like, chances are you aren’t going to agree with me, which I actually welcome. If you’re still with me at this point, all I ask, if you choose to continue reading is an open mind and objectivity.

As my world descends deeper in the universe of erotica, I find myself considering a variety of alternate perspectives…more than I normally would. I make no secret of the fact that I tend to embrace life differently than most in society. What I find interesting is that where I find logic, others find immorality. Which got me thinking about morality.

For as long as I can remember I’ve said, “you cannot legislate morality.” How could anyone possibly do this? Morality is so uniquely subjective, unless you subscribe to religion, which I do not. I prefer the Golden Rule, which is the foundation of most religions anyway. But isn’t that what societies do? We have other’s morality shoved down our throats by governments, religions, activists, schools, even our peers inflict their morality through social media posts. And I ask, to what end? We can only deny our nature for so long. We have our own lives to lead and in them, we are bound to fail, even at the lowest social standard. *Insert punishment and repenting of sins*

This then leads me to think of failure. Failure is a guarantee. We all failed when we learned to walk, we all failed as we learned to write, we’ve failed at relationships, we fail at Pinterest. Failure is everywhere. But what if, just think about this for a moment, what if we embrace failure rather than judging our own and others’ failures and offering our opinions on the perception of the “right way”? What I’m describing here is the act of learning, just like we did when we got up and tried to walk again.

Doesn’t judging failure doom us, in a way, to repeat it? It creates a false self image, a false internal monologue, and paves the way for negatively defining ourselves. The less we analyze our failures as something negative the more we can recognize a new way, a better way. What if we were to see our failures as practice? Practice learning how to live by a code which resonates with us, as individuals. (Again I say, do unto others… what goes around comes around, and so on.) What if we acted in a way that made our own conscience feel good, but equally indulged our minds in our secret, more taboo desires.

This now leads me to think of our secrets. Things we don’t want to admit to ourselves, things we certainly don’t want to admit to others. But within those secrets, is there not a nugget of our true essence? Strip away all the negative attributes of the secrets and do you not find an adventure you took (or would like to take) in order to learn of a better way?

You will see this play out in an upcoming short story I’m concocting, but until then, these are all viable thoughts to consider.

About the author

The Enlightened Spectacle blog uses the exes, codependent tendencies, and esoteric thoughts of one woman in search of life’s deeper meaning as the inspiration for you to deviate from social norms, gain new perspectives, and embrace the darkness on your own Path of Enlightenment.

Josie de Vere is evolving thinker who happens to be codependent and also a writer. Hoping her journey through the darkness to know enlightenment inspires others along the way.


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